Diary of a Spooky Man - Part 2
by Rhys Michelis
Day 3 - Birmingham
The sun rose on Gosport, and a Spooky ventipede trooped to an adjacent coffee shop to breakfast. Lively debate was had over the ironicity of the ‘Slimmer Breakfast’ menu item, consisting of bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and (crucially) unbuttered toast. Van snacks were acquired, and the vans were populated for the long 3 hour drive to Birmingham ahead.
Few Spooky travel days are complete without a pub lunch, and this day was no exception. A sumptuous feast was had at the Perch near Oxford, before the journey was completed. B and B and P parked up at the Midlands Arts Centre for bump in. The venue was beautifully nestled amongst a park with numerous rideable fibreglass swans, and an outdoor amphitheatre that once played host to a previous Spooky gig. While Spooky Merch Queen Coral directed merch table traffic, an intrepid contingent set off for the first successfully invoked East Plymouth Declaration of the tour - to an M+S food hall to forage for dinner.
The gig was a rip-snorting success. The theatre was so sold out the venue staff had to carve a hole in the floor to fit more seats. Spooky Man Matty made his 2026 debut, whose arrival was heralded by his ingenious use of a rice cooker in the green room and suitcase full of lentils. Following the gig, the party scrambled away to the Toby-Carvery-adjacent travelodge in Sheldon for some much needed Spooky sleep.
Day 4 - Sheffield
The Spooky men, their beards tickled by the Brummy sun, arose from slumber only to find themselves in labyrinthine Travelodge hallways in which one could wander suitcase in hand for several months before finding an exit. Those more diurnal among the group roved the streets while the slower starters capitulated to a Toby Carvery breakfast at which the world’s first sighting of a breakfast Yorkshire pudding was made, the appropriateness of which was called into question.
B+B+P hit the road for parts known, and before we knew it the Spooky Men were in Sheffield, invading the Stag’s Head to feed and water. While Spooky Man Chris (who has the distinct advantage of having arms that span the length between oche and board) played darts, Spooky Man Mikey attempted to eat a sandwich measured to be as thick as the distance between his chin and eyebrows.
Sufficiently fortified, the Spooky Men stumbled up the road to St Andrew’s Church, where a singing workshop was held to celebrate the birthday of long time friend of the Spooks Kit Bailey. Harmonies were taught and Georgian words were attempted to be learnt.
After the workshop, the Spooky Men dashed swiftly to Firth Hall at Sheffield University, a beautiful venue adorned with portraiture and long windows. The Spookmeister briefly attempted to hackey sack, but was forestalled by his hackey sack getting stuck in the rafters.
The gig was joyous, and arguably too fun for the Spooky Men, with a monumental meow, an abbreviated count in and an aborted Swedish Spookmeister grunt all threatening to crack the humourless facade of the manline. At the conclusion of the gig, the Spooky Men absconded with the Sheffield Spooky Billet Club chapter, ready to do it all again the next day.
Day 5 - Leeds
The Spooky Men emerged from their billetages to the parking lot of the illustrious Greystones pub (and the author would like to thank Jan for a whirlwind tour of the peak district). There was a brief hackeying of sack before the vans once again took off.
The party had several free hours in Leeds, which were filled in a multitude of ways. A small party went on a medical sidequest which visited no less than three clinics and five pharmacists, while other Spooky elements stuffed their faces in the Kirkgate Market. After inspecting the wares being hawked therein, the Spooky Men (after securing the blessing of the security staff) carried out a two song impromptu performance from the balcony of the Leeds Corn Exchange. With its ovular dome, it proved to present a wonderful acoustic for singing. The Spooky Men were politely applauded by the long suffering British public.
The afternoon successfully spent, the Spooky Men engaged in a soundcheck on the highly raked stage of the City Varieties Music Hall, before linking up with Spooky Man James Sills’ nationally-acclaimed Bantam of the Opera choir, which induced mirth on both sides of the aisle. One unsuspected Bantam was quoted as thinking the Spooky Men’s’ discussion of their Travelodge situation for the night would constitute part of the act.
The Spooky Men dined before the gig at the only pub in Leeds not screening the England v DR Congo football match. The gig then commenced, with a commendable performance from the Bantams, a creditable performance from the Spookies and an encore in combination. The venue was beautiful, the set went well and the crowd were warm and responsive, no doubt in large part due to England’s second half success.
East Bradford was the destination for the night’s rest and, notwithstanding some parking ticket related foibles, the Spooky Men successfully checked in to their accommodation, before engaging in a rich and lively whisky club, the first of the tour. Later than perhaps advisable, sleep descended on this second segment of the tour diary. Stay posted!
p.s. A special shoutout to Carol Warren and Sheila Guilford who are atop the SpooKwiz league table with scores of 17/25. Think you can do better? Head over to spookymen.com to give it a go!
