Diary of Spooky Man - Part 4 - The Scottish Edition

by Rhys Michelis

Days 10 and 11 - the days off

The Mid Tour Break got underway, heralded by the departure of several Spooks from the touring party to the greener pastures of unfettered leisure time. Being there nowt to do around the Cobalt Park Travelodge, all that could entertain the spooky mornings were goodbyes appropriately tearful to mourn a separation of two days, and snack acquisition from nearby Tesco. Your intrepid author purchased his first ever scotch egg, with a view to ceremoniously eating it upon crossing of the Scottish border; unfortunately your intrepid author’s willpower was not that strong, and it was consumed long before a victuals stop in Berwick upon Tweed.

B+B+P set off, their loads suitably lightened by lack of passengers, and after covering some decent mileage found themselves across the border, across the Firth of Forth and across the threshold of leisure time at Glamis house, a stately-home-turned-AirBnB attached to Glamis castle. It was there that the Spooky men were to spend the next two nights, in the sort of deplorable conditions that can only be precipitated by a hot tub, indoor pool, infrared sauna, billiards room, playstation and two peacocks aptly named Macbeth and Banquo.

The first night was fed by an Indian takeaway order masterfully crafted by Spooky Man Peter and watered by an assortment of local and semi-local beers and sparkling non-alcoholic fizzy things, before concluding variably in the sauna and hot tub.

As day gave way to night and then to day again, an agenda was created, owing to the supremely unfortunate fact that some official business needed to be carried out on the days off. After the whole household met the day (admittedly around 11 AM) a crack team of t-shirt and tea towel folders was assembled to restock the gaping holes left in the Spooky merch boxes by the rabid fans from the first nine gigs. Quick work was made, at which point a raiding party set off to Glamis Castle, entry of which was included in the stay.

A party of five Spooky Men wended down the improbably long driveway, past the pastures earmarked for the Scottish Transport Extravaganza towards the castle for a quick afternoon tour. The castle itself was reasonably interesting with chambers cobbled together from additions in several different centuries, several ghost stories and a stuffed former-pet-bear called Fred who had met an unfortunate end at the horns of a highland coo.

Having gotten their historical fill, the party returned home, at which time your handy author and Spooky Man Nic plied their carpentry trade to cut some dowels down to size and fill some bags with gravel (from B&Q). This was all in service of the re-introduction of “Don’t Fence Me In” alias “Fence” to the set, for the first time in 17 years according to wise Spooky sources.

Handiwork successfully given a go, the household moved into dinner preparation mode, with a few intrepid Spooky chefs stirring it up to produce a home cooked pasta meal, taking occasional stove breaks to assess the increasingly improbably comeback of Argentina against Egypt.

Once all hungers and thirsts were slaked, there was a digestive pause including but not limited to football watching, knitting, sauna-ing and hot-tubbing before a late night Cheese Feast (tm) sent all and sundry off to cheesy dreams, fortified for the resumption of touring.

Day 12 - Perth

The Glamis House crew relished their last few hours of luxury with crumpets in hand, departing the accommodation for a quick stop at the Castle proper for the other 4 party members to take the castle tour. Next stop then had to be the alluringly named Scone Palace, especially once some online research confirmed that scones were available for purchase.

B+B+P trundled along the Scottish backroads to the aforementioned castle, where the party had many combinations of plain, cherry and fruit scones with raspberry, rhubarb and strawberry jam. Some Spooks even had a look inside the palace and historical chapel and at the replica Stone of Scone (pronounced skoon, rhymes with boon), but these were obviously pursuits of secondary importance compared to acquisition of baked goods.

Sufficiently dosed with history and clotted cream, the party found its way to the Perth venue, where the skeleton crew were rejoined by the previous members of the line, as well as returning Scottish Spooky Man Colin. A delicious gig was then had on a severely raked stage. The caravan then slunk away into the night to the <travelodge name> where some disgustingly delicious brownies sniffed out by the Spookmeister were shared as a sugary nightcap of sorts.

Day 13 - Fintry

Many things can be said of the <travelodge name>, not among them good nearby breakfast options. Some vibrant morning Spooky falcons hoofed the requisite 2km into Kinross for a café breakfast, while the later risers (your dear author included) made do with what Greggs and Tesco could offer. Supreme among the vibrant morning falcons (VMFs), it must be said, was interim Spooky tour manager Mikey, whose morning run was so long and enthusiastic he had to be rescued by tour car Paul and wound up late to his own tour meeting.

The party was split on daytime activities, with the VMFs, who had already seen Kinross and Loch Leven, opting to proceed directly to Stirling Castle, while others, not wanting to miss a trick, decided for a one-two punch of a Kinross visit / lake walk followed by Stirling Castle.

The weather was lovely, and a short walk along the banks of Loch Leven was what the doctor ordered, before brunch at the Unorthodox Roasters - as recommended by the VMFs - became an imperative. A long brunch with copious avocados and eggs was consumed, amid an atmosphere suffused with the noises and smells of raw coffee beans being roasted essentially directly tableside. The voices on hand sang a valedictory rendition of Jolene, and then pressed on to Stirling Castle.

First impressions of Stirling Castle were that it loomed large, built onto a sheer rocky cliff - some proper castleage. After parking up, the contents of Paul the car briefly discussed the overuse of the ‘-age’ suffix on Spooky Tour before opting to into the ticketed castle. Highlights included a collection of ‘Stirling Heads’ - recently restored carved wooden heads set into the ceiling - as well as the royal chambers nicely painted and restored. An exhibition on authentic historic tapestry weaving was absorbed, the ramparts were (precariously, two way traffic not advised) walked and photos were taken at some thrones in the great hall. Then before the party knew it, it was time to complete the journey to the awaiting village of Fintry.

The vehicles squeezed through the narrow Scottish country lanes to idyll of Fintry. Early arrivers imbibed at the local pub, while others arrived at the Kirk (the site of the gig) to take it in - recently bought by the community, the Spooky Men were to be one of the first big community events since it changed hands.

Dinner was put on for the Spooks at the very well equipped Sports Club which, like the Spooky Men, wears many hats being a restaurant, the home of the village museum and emergency store in addition to playing host to several Rugby teams and teams from various other sports. Impressive! The inhabitants of the good van Beauty did their best Spooky Man Mikey impression, arriving a little late for their own good. The food was delightful, and then the Spooky men held a quick rehearsal in the massive indoor bowling green before heading back up to the Kirk for the gig proper.

The gig was one of the loveliest in Spooky memory, with the population of Fintry and surrounds (60 avid choristers were bussed in from Strathblane!) filling the pews. The Spooks performed acoustically, with no need for any amplification, and received an incredibly enthusiastic reaction. Rumour has it many a Spooky feeling was had.

After the gig, the Spooky Men evaporated into the night to their various billets, and drifted off to the sounds of sheep bleating in adjacent pastures.

Day 14 - Glasgow

Gently lullabised as they had the night before, the wee Fintry sheepies gently lulled the Spooky Men back into the land of the living. Farewells were made with billets (the author would like to thank Derek and Janet for their hospitality, and will think of them whenever he thinks of the Firth of Forth and its bridges) before rendezvousing once again at the sports club for a hale and hearty fry up breakfast including the first tattie scones of the trip.

A tour meeting was held, where the various missed call times from the previous day were gently chastised, and then B+B+P set off once again, this time for Glasgow. There was a slightly earlier bus and a slightly later bus, with later leavers taking the time for a wee walk around the Fintry countryside.

Glasgow was roastingly warm in a manner which can only be described as uncharacteristic. The smattering of early bus choosers made a beeline for a cafe held in esteem from previous visitations, and were pleasantly surprised to find both the food and air conditioning acceptable.

The party then forked, with various personages going off on their own personal adventures. Some went to investigate the Necropolis, presumably needing to undertake emo photoshoots or be inspired to write gothic literature. Others fanned out to check out the Gallery of Modern Art or walk along the river Clyde.

After various individual adventures had been had, the party converged on St Luke’s - converted church turned concert venue - and the Winged Ox bar next door, which offered a groovy venue for a pre-soundcheck pint and a reunion with Spooky Tour Manager Adam and new line members Spooky Man Philip and Spooky Man Dominic (aka Hot Spook). Sound was checked in the surprisingly pleasantly cool church, and most importantly, the logistics and melodics of Fence were trialled for the first time.

After soundchecking, dinners were ordered from the venue and sack was hackied for the Soookmeister had ordered three new sacks off the internet which had been delivered to Spooky Man Philip’s house. The backstage area was decorated with Sharpie messages from the various artists who had performed there, and the Spookmeister left another for posterity. There was also a spontaneous ‘super super super mega mega masala’ groove busted out, no doubt inspired by some of the contents of Spooky Man Matty’s suitcase curry stash.

The gig was fun, fence went off without a hitch, songs were sung from the upstairs balconies and around the general listening public. An Australian friend of the Spooks made her presence known in the front row, and provided fortification for the audience in the singalong portions of the show. The Spooks then rolled along to the inviting purple light of the first and only Premier Inn (ooh la la) of the tour to crash and recuperate for their final Scottish gig.

Day 15 - Edinburgh

The first Premier Inn night of the tour brought with it the first Premier Inn breakfast of the tour - not particularly interesting, but a fried milestone nonetheless. Spooky merch queen Coral invoked a successful East Plymouth Declaration for an early van departure to Edinburgh, and so it was that one intrepid van left for Edinburgh at 11, with another following slightly later.

Upon arrival, the Spooky Men were shocked to find the temperature in Edinburgh pleasant, even cold, in stark contrast to Glasgow and everywhere south of the border in that other country. There was a mist in the air, and the threat of possible rain: perfect weather for a bit of a wander to absorb the overcast ambience. Home base at St Mary’s Episcopal Cathedral was scoped out before a pod of Spooky stationery wonks descended on a pre-decided pen shop to peruse, coming away heavier for the acquisition of some fancy pens and inks. The only possible coda to this spendthriftery was a coffee and a scone, and so a local purveyor was sought out in record time. All and sundry then split to enjoy the remaining free time.

The Spooky Workshop commenced at 3:31, a little too much just in the nick of time for venue staff, but proceeded in fine fettle, with the assembled locals proving themselves good singers and fast learners. A plan for a singalong of Sweetest Kick at the gig was conspired, and all 5 parts of the Tee Tee Tay Tay outro were meted out to willing participants.

After the workshop dinner was foraged, with many Spooks finding passable options in the near by foodie West End district or in recommendations gleefully provided by local Edinburgh spook Colin. It was then time for the gig. The cathedral offered the unique challenge/gift of a beautiful reverb, with notes sustaining longer than expected and harmonies blending into beautiful soundscapes even more so than usual. The audience were lovely, the massed workshop singing was a success, and some of the songs even stayed in tune.

After the gig, the Spooks disappeared once again into the welcoming arms of the local chapter of the Spooky Billet Club. The author is reliably informed that certain spooks (who shall remain nameless) stayed up irresponsibly late with their billets watching England defeat Norway. No matter the veracity of these rumours, the Spooky Men’s final Scottish gig day had been a heartwarming success.